Unladylike

I used to 

wrap my entire 

mouth around 

the top of a plastic water bottle. 

carelessly slipping my tongue

 in and out

of the opening. 

I’d suck all the air out 

of the bottle 

until it 

would make that 

crinkling sound 

and shrivel up in my hand.

I used to sit 

with my legs 

stretched out 

unafraid to take up 

space 

My skirt would 

ride up my thighs

causing my pink 

unicorn underwear 

to be slightly visible

as I sat on the rough concrete

drawing with chalk. 

Now I sit in hard baked chairs

and wear tea length dresses

with stockings, 

ankles crossed--

trying to take up

the least

 amount 

of 

space

 possible

I cower when someone walks 

by and brushes up against 

my dry unshaved leg, 

apologizing profusely

that I wasn’t small 

enough for them.

I drink out of breakable 

china glasses now. 

made from porcelain 

or glass

lips tenderly

 kiss 

leaving behind traces

of deep red lipstick 

The cup is damp

Sweating, profusely as if

nervous to receive my caress

my pinky naturally 

lifts to avoid the wetness 

I’m praised

for drinking 

so ladylike